Tweeting Teddy

Roosevelt camp in Yellowstone

Old news from Yellowstone Park.

This year marks the 120th anniversary of Theodore Roosevelt’s historic two-week visit to Yellowstone National Park in 1903. But what actually happened on that trip? A recent journal discovery reveals quite a lot. Roosevelt’s scripts implied things might have been drastically more modern than previously known. Though still in the heat of debate between the country’s leading anthropologists, documents show that early 20th-century pioneers may have exhibited Twitter-like behavior on early telegram equipment. The leading indication is the repeated mention of supposed usernames. It’s uncertain what they might mean, and we don’t have the answers. What we do have is some leaked evidence from a few of the entries under current scrutiny. Here’s a glimpse.

Damn good to be in Yellowstone. BTW @therealjohnmuir, park ranger at entrance gate didn’t believe me when I said I was you and confiscated your Park Pass. #winsomelosesome

@roughrider WTF? Still had 10 months on it. #notcool

@therealjohnmuir Speaking of WTF, still haven’t received a complimentary tote bag for joining your Sierra Club. #treehugthis

@gpinchot was right. Avoid Yellowstone on weekends. Currently stuck behind 11 horse ’n’ buggies and a tour guide carriage full of Nebraskans. #touristssuck

Sharing tent with famed naturalist, @BigDaddyBurroughs. Strong advocate of tent feng shui. To amplify good energy he insists that we both sleep in diagonal alignment with the front flap. #CREEPO

@RoughRider When you’re my age you’ll understand the ambiance. Sleep outside with the wolves for all I care. #teddybear #babyboy

Caught a marmot attempting to appropriate camp’s food supply. Bludgeoned it with a snowshoe. #thehardylife

Trouble at home. Received word wife is going ballistic over missing snowshoes above hearth. Must remember to remove marmot blood from heel bar. #sorrynotsorry

Spent last day dedicating the Park’s north entrance arch. To celebrate I quaffed a fifth of Glenfiddich through the eye socket of a badger skull. #montananseasilyimpressed  #like4like

For live updates on evidence analysis, visit