Let ’Em Fly

Snowball-fight etiquette.

“The will must be stronger than the skill.” —Muhammad Ali

Snowball fights might be among the most ubiquitous of winter activities, but they don’t come without a cost. Over the last few decades, snowball fights have been reported in newspapers nationwide that left participants with black eyes and bystanders with bloody wounds. But snowy skirmishes needn’t be gruesome. Use the following as a guide to more cordial combat, so that everyone remains in tip-top condition to play in snowstorm after snowstorm—we hope.

Etiquette
Unless you have enough friends to form large teams, it’s every man for himself. Alliances will form naturally from there. Likewise, don’t listen to anyone who advises against headshots, because they’re inevitable and putting the kibosh on ’em is just opening the door to arguments and conflict. They will still happen, albeit “accidentally,” but you might as well allow cheap shots from the beginning to save time.

Any person or body part you throw a snowball at is fair game, so long as it is in fact a snowball.

Locating a battleground can be a challenge, and has its own etiquette. You want a field with enough open space to spread out and conquer, yet with trees and structures accessible to use as cover and to help make forts. Just make sure to gain permission ahead of time if the fight might spill out of a city park and onto neighboring residences. Or not, because like I said earlier, you’re on your own out there.

Dos & Don’ts
Do: Pre-pack snowballs to load up on ammunition.
Don’t: Hide rocks in the snowballs and knock your nemesis unconscious.

Do: Use a small amount of water to coat and prevent a mid-air powder combustion.
Don’t: Completely cover the snowball in water to form an iceball.

Do: Yell “SNOWBALL FIGHT!” at the top of your lungs to kick things off.
Don’t: Ambush old ladies and children from behind a hedgerow.

Do: Wear gloves and plenty of warm clothes.
Don’t: Show up to the battlegrounds barefoot.

Do: Make a fort and home base to stash ammunition.
Don’t: Hide in fear the entire time, wimp.

Safety
A whole day spent playing in the snow requires the appropriate attire. A head-to-toe snowsuit isn’t vital, but will definitely make things more comfortable, and will offer protection from melting snow during longer fights. In terms of the snowballs themselves, the only materials used should be snow. Any person or body part you throw one at is fair game, so long as the snowball is in fact a snowball. Other than that, things are pretty simple. No matter what rules you follow and no matter how old you are, never stop playing in the snow. But remember, always watch your six.