To resist gateway lingo.
Everyone knows how gateway drugs work. Basically, if you smoke even one joint, you’re going to end up shooting meth between your toes while a guy named Sloth picks imaginary spiders off your back. Fact.
Gateway words and phrases work the same way. One day you call a ski run “ill,” and the next, you’re mumbling about the most lit day ever, when you dropped in hard and got double overhead pitted. At that point, there’s nothing anyone can do for you; you’re gone. Here are a few “gateway” words and phrases that should raise red flags. If you catch yourself using any of these, however, all is not lost. Read a damned book.
Somehow, this has come to mean that something is amazing in any sense. “It snowed like two feet at Big Sky today—it was super lit!”
I'm so sorry. When did you suffer your first traumatic brain injury?
Once used to describe riding a skateboard into a bowl or halfpipe. Now used to describe initiating virtually anything. “Hey bro, it’s your turn to hit the salad bar—better drop in.”
Yeah? Well you’d better grab a plate of shut your damn trap.
Once associated with deeds of mythic proportion, today epic is often used to describe an average day of skiing groomers, a gas-station beverage selection, or a night of underage drinking without a single member of the opposite sex present. “That party in your Mom’s basement was epic, man.”
Is “party in your mom’s basement” a euphemism for something cool? No? I didn’t think so.
Synonymous with sick, which is synonymous with cool, which is synonymous with good. “The grooming up Hyalite was so ill this weekend, I totally sent it.”
Know what else is ill? A brain tumor. Which it sounds like you might have.
This is used to describe when a surfer was deep in the barrel of a wave, but has been adopted by skiers to describe face-shots in deep snow. “Man, D-Route was ill today—I got super pitted.”
Know what actually gets pitted? Olives. Plums. Comic book heroes and villains. Skiers? Nope.
Originally used to describe launching a big jump, but now connotes supreme commitment toward… anything. “Dude, the sales team really sent it in the meeting today.”
Kid, no one has any idea what you’re talking about. This is gibberish. And you’re fired.
Once associated with exceptional excitement or anticipation, now associated with any excitement or anticipation. “Leftover 'za for lunch? You’re stoked, Bra.”
Know what I'm having for lunch? A heaping portion of shut the hell up.