Third Time's the Charm
Outdoor Abby, Part 3.
Bozeman is a notoriously tough place for romance. One reason is that folks are so dedicated to their outdoor passions, it leaves little room for love along the way. Naturally, people think it’s a clever hack to combine the two: dating and the outdoors. Turns out, that often goes together like peanut butter and jumbo shrimp. While it sounds nice on paper, it can often lead to more conflict than carats. Still, there are ways to do it right, mainly by being patient and deliberate—both good traits for a relationship. And so we bring you the third edition of Outdoor Abby, to help induce a dalliance to last all season long—and even longer, should the stars align.
The trick to any date is balancing face time with a little distraction. Too much engagement and it feels overbearing. Too little, and afterwards it seems that you never connected at all. This holds true when incorporating an outdoor activity into the mix.
For example, let’s say you both enjoy fishing. To the Gallatin you go, to wade around a bit. But if you’re both off crushing fish, you’ll likely miss the opportunity to crush on each other. On the flip side, a Madison float might sound nice and intimate—that is, until he starts talking about his replica sword collection and you’re en garde all the way to the take-out.
Before you find yourself trapped in a nightmare date scenario, take a page out of our playbook and keep things on calmer waters while you’re searching for your fish in the sea.
You’ve got a lot more vetting to do before you tie any knots.
The go-to first date in Bozeman should basically be a walk on Peets Hill. It’s got plenty of dogs to watch and laugh at; this lightens the mood. There are witnesses, in a worst-case scenario. It’s also free, so no stressing over who’s got the tab. Just K.I.S.S. with this first date—and before you get any funny ideas, that means Keep It Simple, Stupid. Because dinner & a movie is vastly overrated. Watching each other simultaneously masticate and begin digestion processes while intermittently trying to talk between bites? Then sit in the dark and not talk for two hours? Not exactly romantic.
The second date is a little trickier. Some folks are tempted to get ahead of themselves here—like heading out to the crag for a day of climbing. Because nothing says “I’m just one of the guys” like putting your life in the hands of someone you met at Bar IX bucket night last weekend. Sure, the walk on Peets Hill may have gone well, but you’ve got a lot more vetting to do before you tie any knots.
Keep it casual here—though you could spice things up with a moderate amount of your beverage of choice. Maybe a picnic, with a growler from a local brewery. We’re not talking a full five-course spread, just some charcuterie and a pint or two, or a bottle of wine. Keep it local, at a park like Lindley, or venture up to Hyalite for a better view. Just don’t go overboard and suggest skinny-dipping—speaking from experience, that water is cold. It’s too soon to see each other naked, shrinkage or no.
Once you decide you like each other, you’ll be far more patient with mishaps and more forgiving of each other’s shortcomings.
Alright, you’ve made it this far—on to your third date. Here’s your chance to impress and mix in some real sparks. It’s time to head to Gallatin Speedway in Belgrade for some dirt-track racing. Just kidding—that’s a bad idea, unless you both know beforehand about each other’s strong redneck side. In which case the rip-roaring, throttle-revving excitement is just what you need to get the pistons pumping in your burgeoning relationship.
If you’re not motorheads, try heading out of town to one of the various U-Pick farms around Bozeman. Make it one of the flower farms and arrange bouquets for each other—isn’t that lovely? Another great third-date idea is strolling downtown art galleries and/or checking out a museum. You’ve seen a little of your would-be paramour’s outdoor side; time to check out the interior workings—and without getting too heady. We’re not talking the Louvre or the Smithsonian here; most of our local cultural exhibitions have a strong outdoor focus, so you can dig a little deeper while still keeping things light.
Congrats! You just made it through your third date in Bozeman—now you can go crazy. Float the Madison, go for a trail run, or hop on your bikes and hit the singletrack. The important part is establishing a foundation before throwing in too many complicating variables like mechanical issues, fitness differences, or whatever else might arise during a full day of fishing, hiking, biking, or climbing. Once you decide you like each other, you’ll be far more patient with mishaps and more forgiving of each other’s shortcomings.
Now, if it all works out, be sure to invite me to the wedding—I make a great plus-one.
Adam “Abby” Brown is a recognized romance expert, as evidenced by his affinity for floral arrangements, neon fishnet shirts, speedos on the river, and cooing to cute dogs in baby-talk.
