Impaired Parking
O/B’s answer to parking-lot wars.
Parking can be a sensitive subject, so naturally, we’re inclined to play on people’s emotions and offer up our two cents. The issue reaches a boiling point during ski season, when it’s a mad dash up to Hyalite, out to Bridger, or down to Big Sky as soon as we hear the words “winter weather advisory.” Now, it’s great that as a community we’re excited about snow—most towns roll their eyes at the sight of white flakes falling from the sky—but that’s no excuse for idiocy. Here are some examples of bad parking behavior that warrant reconsideration, and maybe even retribution.
Parking perpendicular to other cars. Really? Do you think you’re the only genius who figured out a new and better way to park? Or are you a frustrated artist expressing your anti-establishment angst? Crowded lots demand efficient use of space. Think, please.
Not parking close enough to the car next to you. Come on. We’re all fit, exercise-loving badasses who spend all our time climbing straight up mountains, right? We should be able to fit through a narrow car-door opening. If you can’t, climb out the back.
Parking in the carpool lot when you’re solo. If you can’t find two friends to go skiing with in this town, you aren’t trying hard enough, or you’re a giant asshole who needs to be nicer. Either way, don’t poach the carpool lot. You can make friends on the walk from Lot F and then park in Lot A next time.
Not leaving ample turnaround space for bigger vehicles. Yes, we’re all proud of you for saving the planet with your fuel-efficient car (which uses lithium mined in Bolivia) and human-powered recreation (which depends on sweatshops in Malaysia), but some folks like a little more motor. Respect that and give them the room they need at trailheads.
These are just a few parking-lot violations. This winter, if you see people committing them or any others, kindly remind them that they aren’t the only ones heading outside. For particularly egregious transgressions, or for repeat offenders, slap an O/B parking ticket [facing page] on the windshield. Maybe then they’ll get the message.
