The Enemy Within
Combating seasonal depression with outdoor recreation.
Everyone struggles with the blues at some during our long Montana winters. It’s okay to admit it: no matter how much you love wintertime in general, at some point or another, it sucks.
Thankfully, we Bozemanites are a tough and resilient breed, choosing to live here despite the commutes in the dark, dreary gray light for months on end, daily snow-shoveling, bone-chilling temperatures, and feeling as though we’ve cheated death every time we step out of a car. We’re all somewhat masochistic, and most of us are well-versed in using outdoor recreation as the antidote for anything and everything unpleasant about "real life”—whatever that is.
But even so, the aptly named Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can still rear its ugly head and make wintertime a real drag. Sure, you could just turn to chemical assistance for this diagnosable mental-health condition. But before your trip to the psychiatrist (or a stop at the dispensary), here are some of our strategies for beating back the winter blues. Hell, you may even become a local legend along the way.
By the time the billionaires wake to phallus-shaped tracks all over their backyard, you’ll be back in Bozeman, laughing your ass off.
Emulate the Oso
Our ursine neighbors know a thing or two about dealing with winter. Channel your inner bear and go into hibernation from early November until the end of March. This should give you plenty of time to watch and rewatch every episode of Yellowstone and gain a truly comprehensive understanding of Montana’s culture and current events, preparing you to thrive all summer long. Winter doesn’t exist in the show, so why should you?
Retail Therapy
Dopamine is known to be released at the very moment you click the "Submit Order” button on your favorite retail websites. It’s a cheap high (metaphorically speaking), but if you click it enough times, you may just overcome the dopamine deficiency winter has caused you. Plus, you can tell yourself it’s an investment in yourself. After all, a new pair of skis is almost always cheaper than actual therapy.
Take a Hike
Get outside and take a hike. Feel the crisp, cold air, notice the light shimmering through the snowflakes, and enjoy the piercing quiet from sound dampened by snow. The beauty will shake you out of your depression, and replace it with wonder, awe, and gratitude.
Trespassing & Vandalism
Grab your touring setup and head east on the interstate towards the Crazy Mountains. Proceed at night, headlamps off, and let the glow of the moon illuminate your way as you trespass into Crazy Mountain Ranch. Then find an inconspicuous powder-covered hill and let your imagination run wild. By the time the billionaires wake to phallus-shaped tracks all over their backyard, you’ll be back in Bozeman, laughing your ass off.
Drink Like a Fish
Winter provides the unique opportunity to wake up before the crack of dawn, shuffle hundreds of pounds of gear into your car, and head up to Hyalite Reservoir. There, you’ll pitch your tent, drag out your auger & diesel heater, drill a hole through the ice, and sit there all day, smugly knowing you’ve executed a socially acceptable yet elaborate ruse to crack open the whiskey bottle at sunrise.
Numb Yourself
Wim Hof is an expert in using nature as a visceral tool for changing one’s inner landscape. His method involves fully submerging yourself into freezing-cold water while focusing on your breath until you begin to feel something (or better yet, feel nothing). Give it a shot, why don’t ya?
Play with Sharp Objects
Getting into ice climbing—the strangely addictive pastime of swinging and kicking razor sharp objects into vertically frozen water—will introduce you to a whole new way of interacting with the winter landscape. And you’ll become part of a tight-knit community of other lost souls who can’t think of anything better to do with themselves than post holing into the woods and shivering all day before rambling on at the bar about how radical “that icicle from earlier” was.
Buffalo Rodeo
The best time to get that highly desirable Instagram shot of yourself mounting a buffalo is undoubtedly wintertime, when the beasts are so subdued by the cold, they’re likely to welcome a warm object cradling their backs. You already know where to find them, and if you’re anything like us, you’ve already maxed out the deductible on your health insurance for the year.
Lake Skating
There exists an elusive set of conditions with cold enough temperatures and minimal snow that allow one to ice skate on the frozen lakes in the mountain ranges surrounding us. Throw a rock or two at the ice to make sure it’s thick enough and then race all by yourself to the middle of the lake. For the optimal thrill, be sure no one knows where you are or what you’re doing.
Swashbuckling Big-Mountain Skiing
Wait all winter until the avalanche forecast shows red—or better yet black—at all elevations. Now is your moment to become a pariah in the Bozeman backcountry ski scene, a legend who died doing what he loved most. All we know at this moment is that you can’t be depressed if you’re dead.
Take Flight
For some reason, the European sport of ski-BASE jumping hasn’t quite caught on yet in America. Here exists an opportunity. Head to the tallest cliff you can think of—at Bridger Bowl, Big Sky, Hyalite, Cooke City, anywhere really—and huck your meat. Just hope your fingers aren’t too numb to find your pull-cord.
There you have it, folks. Don’t despair; wintertime in Bozeman provides plenty of opportunity to get outside, evade those pesky SAD feelings, and maybe even make history along the way.
