Rack 'Em Up

Which Montana ungulate are you?

Nothing says “deep introspection” quite like comparing yourself to a wild animal. Use this quiz to discover which hooved Montana beast you embody most.

Q1: It’s Saturday morning. What are you doing?
A. Sitting in Gallatin Canyon traffic, hoping to beat the rush to the trailhead.
Go to Q2
B. Sleeping off a hangover. I’ll get outside… eventually.
Go to Q3
C. Already halfway up a mountain, double-fisting protein bars and gels.
Go to Q4

Q2: When staring danger in the eye, you ________.
A. Stop, scan, and bolt. It’s not worth the risk.
Go to Q4
B. Square up and charge; nothing beats a good challenge.
Go to Q5
C. Size it up, huff once, and move on unless it’s worth my trouble.
Go to Q6

Q3: How do you feel about people?
A. I like my people. But strangers? Not so much.
Go to Q6
B. Meh, they’re tolerable in small doses.
Go to Q5
C. I love ‘em! The more, the merrier!
Go to Q8

Q4: After a long day at work, what are you doing?
A. Watching the sunset in silence and solitude.
Go to Q9
B. Sprinting down Peets Hill, dodging dogs and strollers.
You are an ANTELOPE. Fast, agile, and allergic to waiting. You need open space and zero interruptions.
C. Meal prep, gear check, and bed by nine.
Go to Q8

Q5: Your co-worker’s throwing a party; what’s your M.O.?
A. I’ll RSVP “maybe” and then disappear into the Bridgers.
Go to Q4
B. I’ll chat with ’em at the Co-op or office, but I’m not going to a barbecue.
Go to Q9
C. I’ll be there! I love firepits, beers, and bear-spray stories.
Go to Q7

Q6: Where do you feel most at home?
A. Bellied up at a watering hole, drinking beers with pals after a long hike.
Go to Q8
B. High up on the rocks, dude! Or butting heads with my bros.
You’re a BIG HORN SHEEP. You’re strange, but people love you for it. You always go your own way, and good luck to those who try to stop you.
C. I can be myself anywhere, but I’m always tuned in and ready to jet if need be.
You are a WHITETAIL DEER. Generic? Maybe, but we can’t all be remarkable.

Q7: Do you think you’re special?
A. Of course I am, I’ve always stood out in a crowd!
You’re a BULL ELK. You do well with cows, but someone’s always looking to take you down.
B. Not really, I prefer to blend in with the crowd.
You’re a MULE DEER. Not too flashy or loud, you keep to yourself and those who get to know you are a lucky bunch.
C. Yes, I quite literally look down on others.
You are a MOUNTAIN GOAT. Ambitious and selectively social, you meticulously balance work and play with a precision that leaves others envious.

Q8: How are you keeping your rent paid?
A. I’ve got a part-time job, three side-hustles, and a small dividend from my crypto investments.
Go to Q9
B. Ain’t no rent when you live in a tent! Money’s a social construct, anyways.
You are a MOOSE. Unorthodox, independent, and operating on your own wavelength.
C. I show up to my nine-to-five, keep things moving, and don’t make a fuss.
You are a BISON. Reliable, steady, and driven. You don’t complain, and always face trouble head-on.

Q9: You’re dust-covered and pungent from a day in the mountains; what are you drinking?
A. Dry electrolyte mix, I ran out of water three miles ago, but this keeps me going strong.
You are an ANTELOPE. Light, fast, and always ten steps ahead.
B. A lukewarm IPA from my pack.
You are an ELK. Social, rugged, and always ready to crack one with the herd.
C. Black coffee, the only right way to do it.
You are a MOOSE. Strong, solitary, and operating on pure stubbornness & caffeine.

Congrats—you’ve found your spirit ungulate. Embrace it. Channel it. But please, keep the grunting & bugling at the bars to a minimum.