O/B Wins Unprecedented Award
Amid ordered applause and squeals of spurious excitement, Outside Bozeman magazine recently accepted the 2015 Best Outdoor Journal in Southwest Montana (BOJSM) award. This coveted accolade was both presented and received by publisher Mike England, a renowned charlatan whose audacious exploits are often notated in city and county proceedings. “This award bestows great honor on O/B,” said England, “and it proves what I’ve been saying all along: nobody remembers those old tampon commercials from the '80s.”
Before a predominately insensate crowd, the company’s patriarch praised his “saturnalian staff” for their “ostensible work ethic and profound sense of scurrility,” which he attributed to the magazine’s opprobrious editorial content and “extremely permissive intern relations.” The BOJSM is Outside Bozeman’s second award in as many decades; the decidedly chicane publication won Best Magazine in the World back in 2007. “But the world has changed,” noted England, downplaying the erstwhile honor. “You could poach the hell out of the internet back then.”
When asked about the validity of the award, England set his chin and staunchly defended the distinction. “Imbecilic enterprise or no,” he said, “the fact that we’re the only outdoor journal in southwest Montana is no coincidence. I challenge anyone to disprove the relevance of that.” And what of the criticism from other local companies, whose own awards are granted by accredited institutions? England brushed it off with a singular magniloquence. “Haters gonna hate,” he said.
Tentative O/B Awards
(nominated and awaiting notification)
Least Useful Southwest Montana Real-Estate Guide (awarded by the Montana Open-Space Eradicator & Soul-Eater’s Society)
Best Sarcasm (awarded by guest presenter Bill Maher of Sarcastic: The Magazine)
Golden Phallus Award from Masculinity Magazine
2014 Maggie Award for Excellence in Intern Development (and Destruction)
2014 Global Publisher’s Cup Award for Most Magazines Produced with Least Amount of Cash
Grand Prize Moustache Ride from the American Facial Hair Association for excellence in promotion of facial hair
