Livin’ the Sky Life

A new tram in Gallatin Canyon.

Anything you can do, I can do better—that was the mantra at a Yellowstone Club development meeting last summer. The subject? How to one-up Big Sky’s new tram to the top of Lone Peak. “It’s like when your middle-class brother tries to outdo you on something, and you gotta put him in his place,” says project supervisor Ben Dover. “You just put the screws to him, you know? Don’t let him think for a second that he has the upper hand.”

At the meeting, the YC board came up with an idea: to build its own tram, but make it bigger, better, longer, and way more expensive than Big Sky’s. They plan to break ground this winter, with completion slated for the 2026 ski season.

“No project goes perfectly,” the project manager notes, “and in the end, we’ll get exactly what we want: showing Big Sky who’s boss, and minimizing our members’ interactions with the common folk around Belgrade and Four Corners.”

The new tram will start at the Club’s private hangar at the Bozeman airport, and run through Gallatin Canyon to Big Sky proper, then up to Pioneer Mountain. Each cabin will be climate-controlled and oxygen-enhanced, equipped with full-body massage chairs, a concierge and wait staff, and obsequious lavatory attendants. Different tramcars will have different themes, depending on the moods and interests of the passengers; initial designs include a genuine Yellowstone Park bison-leather interior, and a party car complete with strobe lights and a stripper pole.

“Given the impact on the ground, we had to get creative with the licensing,” explains Dover. “It was like the old days, with Blixseth and all the environmental destruction—we had to wait for the new election cycle to finish. Let’s just say, we’re happy to have a couple new members at the Club.”

Construction will require a road-share approach, with a complete shutdown of Hwy. 191 between Bozeman and Big Sky multiple days per week. This was almost a deal-breaker, as Club members were unanimously opposed to forgoing spontaneous urges for Costco shrimp platters, Dairy Queen Blizzards, and other important indulgences not available in Big Sky, especially after hours. Local shuttle companies joined in opposition, pointing out that 85% of their income comes from offering immediate gratification to Club members. Ultimately, however, Dover convinced the members that the sacrifice would be worth it in the long run, and the Club had a talk with the shuttle-company owners. The project was quickly given the green light.

Each cabin will be climate-controlled and oxygen-enhanced, equipped with full-body massage chairs, a concierge and wait staff, and obsequious lavatory attendants.

Another stumbling block was the route. Initially, the plan was to veer west at the mouth of the canyon, shooting straight across the mountains, directly to the Club. “We cut our teeth with the deal in the Crazies, and now we know exactly how to manipulate—I mean, work with—the Forest Service,” explains Dover, who obtained a special-use permit to build “temporary” tram towers over the Spanish Peaks. But the land in between is owned by Ted Turner, who refused to grant an easement. Says Dover: “We explained to the guy that we wanted our members to gaze down at peaceful elk and bison, instead of all the ugly, dangerous contractor traffic they’ve created. I even offered him a nice payoff. ‘Not everything has a price,’ he told me. Can you believe that snobbery?”

So through the canyon the tram will go. “No project goes perfectly,” Dover notes, “and in the end, we’ll get exactly what we want: showing Big Sky who’s boss, and minimizing our members’ interactions with the common folk around Belgrade and Four Corners.”

If you wanna live big, you gotta think big.

With the Crazy Mountain Ranch nearing completion, and the new tram underway, what’s on the horizon for the Club? “Check this out,” says Dover, beaming with excitement. “We’re gonna run a railway over from Ennis, punching a hole right through Cedar Mountain. It’ll be like Switzerland and that Eastwood movie, Eiger Sanction. And with the Forest Service in the bag, we’ll put a restaurant on top, just like Mount Jungfrau!” Other proposed amenities include a coffee shop and bar on the shore of Cedar Lake, complete with a hot tub and both dry and wet saunas.

“If you wanna live big, you gotta think big,” says Dover. “And you just can’t let the little things get in the way.”

For more info, visit bigbadasstram.com or nothingcanstopus.com.