How True Are You?
It’s an admirable title: a true Bozeman girl. After years of careful research, we’ve devised this simple test to see if you qualify as a bona fide Bozeman lady. Each item in the following list gets you one point; add ‘em up and see how you fare.
You’re a true Bozeman girl if…
- You keep your gear in the closet and your clothes in the garage
- Your idea of romance is long walks along the Ridge
- You’ve never been single for more than a month
- You wax your skis more often than your eyebrows
- Your Subaru has more bumper stickers than you have shoes
- You traded in your Subaru for an SUV with more clearance
- You lost your virginity in a tent
- You don’t carry a purse; you carry a backpack or fanny pack
- Your only skin-care product is a tub of Vaseline
- Your idea of a girls’ night out is a ski-movie premier followed by bluegrass at the brewery
- You’d rather camp on the river than stay at a fancy hotel
- You like French fries and pizza more than salad
- Your boyfriend teles—and you care
- You shave your legs less often than your boyfriend shaves his beard
- You won’t date a man who can’t, or won’t, grow a beard in the fall or winter
- Your liberal-arts degree comes in handy at your part-time food-service job; but at least you get to live in Bozeman
- Your nicest necklace is made of hemp
- You’ve lived with eight other girls in a three-bedroom house
- You refuse to date a guy if he doesn’t ski
- You have a dozen recipes for elk
- You’ve been in a tanning booth wearing only ski goggles and Chacos
- You justify your drinking by “sweating out the toxins” at Bikram yoga
- Your idea of shopping is sifting through clearance bins at thrift stores
- You drive a pickup truck
- Your only “heels” are the heel lifts on your backcountry skis
- Your bruises and scars are badges of honor
- You won’t get a pedicure because it would ruin the calluses
- You always buy a pass for one of the local ski hills, even if that means eating Ramen and living in poverty
- Your dog weighs more than you do
- You drink whiskey, usually on the rocks or neat
- You won’t date a man who doesn’t drink whiskey
- You know how to tie on and cast your own flies
- You bait your own hooks with slimy nightcrawlers
- You can change a flat tire on your bike and on your boyfriend’s car
- You don’t buy new clothes because you’re saving up for that new pair of fat powder skis
- Your bike, kayak, and skis are worth more than your car
- You know how to use your transceiver and never go skiing without it
- You keep the sport rack on your car year-round and your kayak on it well into fall
- You never miss an issue of Outside Bozeman
0-9 points: You’re probably a freshman at MSU who’s only reading O/B because it’s the favorite magazine of the guy you’re crushing on. Keep reading and maybe—just maybe—you’ll grow up to be a True Bozeman Girl who doesn’t read something just to impress a boy.
10-19 points: You’ve been around Bozeman for a few years, but you haven’t found your place yet. You have a ski pass to your home mountain, but haven’t branched out and accepted Bozo as your true home. Jump in with both feet, and before long you’ll be a TBG.
20 or more points: Look at you, girl! Bozeman is home: it’s where your friends are your family, and you wouldn’t give it up for anything. In one scenario, you’ve been around the world and decided this is the best there is; in the other, you’ve been here for years and don’t trust change. Either way, you’re the ultimate TBG!