Booze Beat
Jack Frost nipping at your nose? Frostbite nipping at your toes? Nothing beats back the cold like a Thermos full of hot, delicious liquid. Especially if it’s boozy. Whether you're curled up next to the fireplace or charging in the backcountry, these ten concoctions will keep you toasty warm (or at least fool you into thinking you are).
1. Blåbärssoppa—Swedish blueberry soup (non-alcoholic)
Made from Swedish bilberries, sugar, water, and potato starch, with a thick consistency and a reputation for providing energy. Sold in the USA under the trade name Blåbär. “One of the best drinks for any winter adventure, be it skiing, sledding, or long-distance ice skating. Make sure you have a real good Thermos, it is sweet and should be served real hot!”—Bozeman resident Åsa Pape (a real live Swede!)
2. Hot Apple Pie Shots
For warmth of body and spirit, try these delectable shots made by the half-dozen. Mix 3/4 cup of apple cider, 1/4 tsp. of vanilla extract, one pinch of cinnamon, and 1/4 cup of rum. Top with sweetened whipped cream and dust with cinnamon. “Apple pie’ll f-ck you up!”—Hot Apple Pie shotster, sometimes bartender, and former Bozeman ski bum Tyler Hindel.
3. The Barn Burner
Who says rum is only a summer booze? Mix a half-ounce (or be a man and use an ounce) of SoCo into eight ounces of hot apple cider, add grated lemon peel, and stir with a cinnamon stick. “Perfect for reading Outside Bozeman next to the fireplace.”—homebody, MSU student, and O/B suck-up Lydia Hurst.
4. Relaxing in Front of the Fire
If you’re about to have a terrible day at the office, soften the blow by Relaxing in Front of the Fire. It's one of the few drinks the boss won’t smell on your breath. Mix a half-ounce of cinnamon schnapps and two ounces of Kahlua with five ounces of hot coffee. Top with whipped cream. “One of the stealthiest booze drinks out there—perfect for slackers.”—Bozeman workplace drunk Joe Blow (real name withheld for job security).
5. Keoke Coffee
Whatever a keoke is, it must be rich and delicious. Mix a half-ounce Kahlua, half-ounce crème de cacao, half-ounce Christian Brothers brandy, and four ounces of coffee. Top with whipped cream. “Hot, sweet, and rich—it’s the Anne Hathaway of beverages.”—closet People Magazine reader, MSU grad, and bartender Chris Jenkins.
6. Hot Whiskey
Whiskey isn’t just for cowboys and Irishmen. Into a whiskey sour glass, pour two ounces of Jameson whiskey, add three cloves and a fresh lemon slice, then fill with hot water and stir in a teaspoon of sugar. Drink hot. “I love this delightful whiskey libation, I love Bozeman, and I love being drunk as part of my job.”—recently hungover Outside Bozeman Editor-at-Large and author of this story, Drew Pogge.
7. Burning Demon Piss
If your idea of wintertime fun is to get obliterated and accidentally light your hair on fire, fill your stainless steel O/B travel mug (available at outsidebozeman.com) with one ounce of Jose Cuervo (don’t be afraid), three ounces of SoCo peach liqueur (seriously, keep going), one ounce Captain Morgan rum, one ounce Kahlua, and six ounces of burning hot coffee. Then top with three ounces of hot pepper sauce (now you can be afraid), and float 1½ ounces of Bacardi white rum. “First you feel all warm and fuzzy. Then you don’t feel anything at all.”—recovering Canadian and Bozeman dirtbag Matt Justice.
8. Absinthe Celestial Tea
The goddamned federal government limits the amount of hallucinogenic wormwood in commercial absinthe, so this concoction isn’t as interesting as it could be, but it’ll still soothe a sore throat. Mix a half-ounce of absinthe with 1½ ounces of cranberry juice and five ounces of hot water. Add a squirt of lemon juice and soak a cinnamon stick to flavor. “Better than antiseptic spray on sore throats, with the mystique of absinthe for badassness.”—failed Romantic poet and seasonal Bozeman fisher-bum Liam Henry.
9. Black Haus Mitten
Unlikely flavors sometimes augment one another, sort of like mixing every flavor of soda together when you were a kid. Combine one ounce of Black Haus blackberry schnapps, one ounce Goldschlager cinnamon schnapps, and four ounces of hot coffee, then top with whipped cream. “Sounds gross, tastes good; just like sushi. Only it gets you drunk.”—Steve “I-drink-for-effect” Hines, who was recently found passed out behind Heeb's.
10. Hot Schnnocolate
A favorite of football fans, backcountry skiers, and hobos everywhere, a mug of Hot Schnnocolate (aka, Alpine) is guaranteed to make you feel young, or at least warm. Add one ounce of peppermint schnapps to a mug of hot chocolate. That’s it. If you want minty fresh breath under the mistletoe, take a shot of pure peppermint schnapps afterward. “I like it because I can make it look like I’m not drinking alcohol in front of my kids.”—irresponsible parent Kevin Schneider, who drinks heavily because he left Bozeman and now lives in North Dakota.
