Monkeying Around

Making climbing fun again.

With the release of Free Solo, the introduction of sport climbing in the Olympics, and the explosion of a billion-dollar industry, rock climbing is the worst-kept secret in outdoor recreation. Climbing gyms are filling up and spilling over, sending bright-eyed and bushy-tailed gumbies to the crags en masse and sending you, the seasoned climber, further into the backcountry in search of open rock. There’s no better time to get back to your roots and take to the trees.

Tree climbing isn’t a sport—and God forbid it ever becomes one. But it’s an athletic pursuit, a simple joy, and an easy way to have one hell of a good time outside—no rope, quickdraws, or trad rack required.

Watch out for bees and hives, particularly in cottonwood boles, where an unaware climber might jam a hand and pay for it with angry red welts and maybe a broken ankle.

Getting Ready
You don’t need much—slip on your climbing shoes, hiking boots, or other footwear with a snug fit, and consider long pants so that after the climb you don’t end up looking like you just had a cage match with a black bear.

Leave the chalk behind and reach for sap instead, which you’ll find in abundance on Douglas firs, lodgepole pines, and other coniferous trees, for a little extra grip.

Finally, no need for crash pads. Climb as high as you want and avoid dead limbs (or get good at catching branches on the way down).

Not All Trees Are Created Equal
Seek big, strong trees like mature Doug firs, cottonwoods, and willows—but if safety isn’t a priority, you can try to shimmy up a quaking aspen during a thunderstorm and pretend you’re a sailor in a crow’s nest as the winds try to shake you off.

Different tree varieties require different climbing styles. A big, mature cottonwood has stony, deeply furrowed bark with scaly ridges that makes it feel like you’re scaling a rock wall. Side-pulls, gastons, and edging abound while climbing these trees, which you can ascend without ever touching a branch. But beware: though the bark may feel like rock, it isn’t, and you might find yourself plummeting downwards holding a big chunk of it in your hand.

On the other hand, Doug firs offer a jungle-gym-like approach. With sturdy branches bristling all over the tree’s trunk, you can monkey your way up like a chimp. For those with the requisite upper-body strength, you can even swing from one branch to another. Just bring a few bananas to replenish blood sugar, prevent muscle cramps, and tap into your inner primate. You can also try the Doug fir challenge: see how far you can ascend while only using your arms, the arboreal equivalent of campusing.

Doug firs offer a jungle-gym-like approach. With sturdy branches bristling all over the tree’s trunk, you can monkey your way up like a chimp.

Willows support a gentler form of climbing, with sweeping limbs to scurry over, cavernous nooks to tuck into, and sometimes thick, parallel trunks that you can use like a chimney and scooch your way up. On skinnier limbs, you can always practice the koala—hugging the tree tightly with both arms and legs and humping your way up or down.

Hazards
Tree climbing, like any other outdoor pursuit, is not without its hazards.

The biggest danger is dead or fragile branches. Carefully inspect a branch before putting your weight on it and look for telltale signs of rot-like fungus and discolored foliage. Just know that the higher you get, the skinnier the limbs, the more difficult the climbing, and the greater the consequences of a fall.

Trees support a wide web of wildlife that a climber might run into on her way up. Watch out for bees and hives, particularly in cottonwood boles, where an unaware climber might jam a hand and pay for it with angry red welts and maybe a broken ankle. However, not all tree life poses a threat. The observant climber may spot cute red squirrels or come face-to-face with the white throat of a baby robin squawking out of its hole.

Inevitably, the documentary Monkey Maker will drop and outdoor companies will fall all over each other to sponsor the next George of the Jungle or whatever. But until then, you’ll find us happily clambering around in the trees.

Want to know our tree-climbing spots or share some of your own? Send word to editor@outsidebozeman. Grab your bananas, find a tree, and don’t be afraid to get a woody.