Meet Your Match
With the advent of online sex solicitation—err, dating—the days of printed personal ads are numbered. Here are a few choice selections gleaned from the good people of Gallatin Valley.
No Worries
Broke ski bum looking for physical and financial fulfillment. Must be willing to buy all the groceries, tolerate obnoxious bro-brahs, and hike the Ridge without bitching too much.
Be My Fantasy
Recent California transplant seeks Montana dirtbag to share teepee in forest and bewilder rich parents. Personal hygiene not important, but must fly fish and ski expertly. Cowboy hat and black lab a plus.
Look at Me
Fitness-obsessed narcissist seeks vain, superficial (but super hot) babe. Unlimited gym and tanning membership required; setting foot outdoors optional.
On the Hunt
Bearded alpha male looking for that special lady. Must eat wild game (exclusively), tolerate lonely weekends and loud diesel trucks, and wear camo indoors, year round.
Catch & Release
Fishing guide in early 30s seeks cute and fun boat-mate for long days on the Yellowstone. Must have own six-weight Sage rod and strong fear of commitment.
Organic Relations
Wealthy female hipster seeks presumptuous mate. Must drive a Prius (or, alternatively, one of those cute little Hummer H3s), belong to the Co-op, and practice yoga daily. Family money doesn’t hurt.
10-Year Plan
28-year old super, super, super senior at MSU seeks intellectual equal and philosophical soul mate with whom to share the secret of life, a frog-shaped bong, and copious quantities of Thai food. At least one degree in something unemployable required.
