Every season, we receive a few letters from our lovely readers around the Bozone. Sometimes they’re nice, sometimes they’re nasty. And sometimes they’re just plain silly, like this letter from longtime reader and fellow gadfly Jason Wilcox. We adore irreverence ‘round here, which means Mr. Wilcox wins Letter of the Season for his ironic indictment of our Top Dog contest (winners on page 50). Got a snappy paragraph or two of your own? Send it our way and win your pick from the fabled O/B Treasure Chest.
NOTICE OF INTENT TO SUE:
Observed contest information involving pictures of a dog. Shocked and disgusted. Will sue based on two things:
1. Contest rewards dog owners and thereby encourages the enslavement of sentient creatures higher on the collective’s list of protected classes than unborn babies.
2. Contest is not inclusive of all groups. Anti-animal slavers, animal liberators, cat-lovers, and dog-hair-allergy suffers are made to "feel" excluded.
Suggest you correct this egregious event by instead running a contest for best photo of hippy girl practicing yoga in either a remote, Gaia-inspired location or at a petty, overly-urbanized gimme-gimme-gimme protest.
Expect to hear from my lawyer, Terry Levine (Spring 2007).
I was impressed with your article about pocket knives (Spring 2011, p. 22). I too grew up with one in my pocket. Everyone around me also had one in their pockets—even my mom had one in her purse. They are great tools.
I also read your poems “The Rifle,” “Montana Feet,” and several of your other articles. I think we are cut from very similar material. I got most of my education on the banks of the Yellowstone River and the Little Snowy Mountains in Montana.
After high school, I went to Eastern Montana College in Billings and then enlisted in the Air Force and hit the road. I went back to college and then to Officer’s Training School. I spent 20 years in the service. Everywhere I went, Montana went with me—pocket knives and guns included.
I’d like you to have some of those knives. The big one, the little one, and the scout knife I used as teaching aids for Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts who were working on their Totin’ Chip cards or knife-handling skills, outdoorsman skills, and merit badges. The other three are new.
I have passed on most of my old knives to different scout troops along the way and know these knives will find a good home with you.
Keep writing, I like your style and your message.
Donald L. McCracken Jr.