Killer Coverage

Hunting insurance gains traction.

These days, the world is full of uncertainty, and no one has enough time. If you're a hunter, you know this all too well—who doesn't wish they could hunt dawn to dusk all season long, and reliably find trophy animals? But most of us are lucky if we can dedicate a few weekends a year to the field, and there’s never been any guarantee of success. Until now.

Animal Farm Insurance is a brokerage firm with an innovative app that provides hunt-outcome security at the tip of your fingers. What is hunt-outcome security? Well, say you hunt all season long on public land and just never see an elk, or maybe you wound a bull that takes off, never to be seen again. Animal Farm compensates you for the loss by delivering a farm-raised animal of similar size, right to your door. This ensures that you fill your freezer (and can put a trophy over the mantle), even if you had rotten luck or are just a terrible hunter. Guaranteed.  

Here's how it works: before your hunt, you select a game-insurance package through the AF app, specifying your hunt type and deductible. The deductible is determined by a proprietary algorithm that tallies dozens of personal variables like your hunt location, season, weapon used, age, lifestyle, cognitive ability, phallus dimensions, hunt history, and pounds of meat and trophy-score requirements, combined with current FWP game statistics, predator numbers, hunting-pressure estimates, weather models, and more. AF estimates your odds of success and produces an insurance rate specifically for you. Once your premium is paid, your hunting season is insured.

A young, fit Montana elk hunter who has filled a tag five of the last six years, and is just looking for a tender young cow, will have a much lower premium than a middle-aged hunter from Indiana who smokes Marlboro Reds and has never shot an elk, but is looking for a seven-point bull. In both instances, however, if the hunter is unsuccessful AF will provide a farm-raised animal within the premium target size. Proof of hunt effort is required to file a claim (video, photos, and at least two eyewitnesses required, or a signed affidavit and self-authentication fee).

After hunt-effort confirmation, you can select the specific replacement animal you’ll receive using the Land Animal Metrics Experience app, which was developed by AF (searchable in the Apple store under LAME AF). Each farm-raised animal has a profile, including stats and hi-res photos (the company is currently contracting for elk, deer, antelope, turkey, and, strangely, peacock). Using an interface similar to Tinder, hunters can scroll through hundreds of candidates until the right one appears. Swipe right, and that very animal will be harvested, processed, and delivered in under three days. No fuss, no muss.

Like most insurance structures, riders are available. For an additional fee, AF’s media managers can whip together a dramatic social-media campaign detailing your "successful" hunt, and even boost it through the company's social channels to reach hundreds of thousands of followers. If buyer's remorse sets in after purchasing a lower-grade premium, you can splurge for a 20% rack upgrade, even after your hunt. In fact, even if you have a successful independent hunt, but are disappointed by the size of your animal's antlers (we know they looked bigger through the scope), you can select the "Swap-a-Head" option for a more impactful taxidermy mount. Just send in your head and $300 (plus freight), and AF will send you a bigger one—you shouldn't be stuck with an animal you don't love, just because you shot and killed it, right? Once again, you can use the LAME AF app to select the perfect severed head you'd like to hang in your home, so memories of this hunt can last a lifetime. 

AF is currently working to integrate the LAME app with the FWP website, so that with the click of a button, you can insure a permit, too. If you fail to draw an antelope tag, for example, AF will send you a professionally mounted pronghorn head and 30 pounds of meat. Included in the box are two spent shells and a sprig of sagebrush—personal touches that demonstrate AF's commitment to a meaningful customer experience.

What all this adds up to, according to AF's webpage, is a leveled playing field. "Sick of relying on arbitrary factors like chance, sport, skill, and experience?" it asks, next to a picture of three portly, balding Texans holding massive elk racks. "So were we. We're not just Animal Farm owners, we’re also clients."

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