You Might Be a Bozemanite If...

What the locals do.

You might be a Bozemanite if…
... your garage is for outdoor gear, not cars.
... you associate the scent of gun powder with food.
... you wear Carhartts to weddings.
... you've waxed your skis in July.
… you’ve skied, floated, and biked on the same day.
... your last barroom fight involved talking smack about worm fishing.
... you use your kitchen table as a surgical suite to remove porcupine quills from your black lab.
... you use your kitchen table as a surgical suite to remove gravel from your friend's ass after he crashes while hookey-bobbing.
... you harvest your garden in mid-August to avoid a hard frost.
… you know at least three dogs named Bridger or Madison.
… you paid more for your last pair of skis than your last car.
... you have a friend who is a "game-etarian."
… you’ve defrosted elk meat in the hot tub.
... you’ve used the phrase (even in jest) "sick-point-sick on the sickter scale."
... you've had to guide your car through a cattle drive... on a state highway.
... your waitress has a Ph.D. in theoretical physics.
... "the Clintons" conjures images of a rock band rather than oral sex.
... you've been cut off by Rebecca at the brewery.
... you have staples in your forehead due to damage from a hailstorm.
... you think the dents in your car due to hail "add character."
... your Easter egg hunts involve wearing a down jacket.
... "going for a swim" is a life-threatening event.
... you know what a "Belgradian" is (i.e., a can of Oly with a twist of lime).
… you know more about your dog's genealogy than your own.
… you refer to small dogs as “eagle bait.”
... you advocate catch-and-release fishing all summer and kill every huntable species in the fall.
… cuts, bruises, and abrasions sustained outdoors are a source of pride.
… you feel sexy in long underwear.
… you know that Outside Bozeman is a magazine, not a location.