Gramps Letter #3

Gramps Letter #3

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Gramps

Kooks,

Just as the rash on my weathered ass was beginning to heal, I stumbled onto another of your magazine’s ridiculous outbursts. The misfortune I am referring to, of course, is the “Up Front” letter published in your spring edition of Upside Down Bozeman. This letter brilliantly illustrates the metamorphosis of a California Beatnik into a full-blown Montana Pain in the Ass! These ignorant idiots should have been wiped out by the natural selection process two generations ago. Unfortunately, we’re too civilized to let nature take its course, paving the way for our country’s Rome-like destruction. Terry Levine and his ilk seem embarrassed to be human! They ignore their pure instinctual tendencies and flee self-righteously to their contrived “nature retreats,” meanwhile rejecting everything natural around them—like hunting and fishing, which humans have been doing since the dawn of time.

Like most true liberals, these wingnuts have no religious affiliation, and their lost and confused souls have run amok. They pinball insanely between worshipping themselves, worshipping the latest “spiritual” craze (i.e., yoga), and worshipping their childish ideals. If a subconscious spiritual crisis hits, they simply take up another obscure, worthless cause to “cleanse” themselves. This usually results in them attempting to save a few lab rats, which ironically serve society more than these pinko freaks ever will. These same anti-hunters probably feel it appropriate to tear a 2nd-trimester human off of its God-given life support system. As the old saying goes, “reason without passion is dull, but passion without reason is blind.”

But you know what really pickles my cucumber? People like this Terry Levine bozo are the people we embrace in our society, as “enlightened, pacifistic” humans. Heaven forbid these knuckleheads get the chance to run our government, as we deal with the most important war in our history. The fact that you pansy-ass liberal “editors” printed Terry Levine’s letter proves that you’re made up of the same stuff as he is: buffalo dung! You’re tired of Lewis & Clark, but can’t get enough of the envirozealot posers taking over Montana? And you wonder why us old-timers get crotchety.

We as a country are running blind into a wall of determined evil—people who are willing to manipulate our blind spots without mercy. We need to take our state, and country, back from these liberal dipshits. And Outside Bozeman needs to take responsibility and do what’s right… for a change! If this is too much weight for your anemic, leftist, pencil-neck shoulders to bear, try packing an elk out of Gallatin Canyon and building up some muscle. If not, you will be hearing from me!

Gramps

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